my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
