break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
