why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
