spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
