Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
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apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
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I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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