everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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