I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
