I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
where am i from again
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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