She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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