it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
