Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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