He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
