I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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