I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He felt like a one man threesome
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
