just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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