Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
