I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
