I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
