I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
