I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Randomize
