walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
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oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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