just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
