The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
