epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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