the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I love you.
Bad choice
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
