when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
