Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
