That's intense
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
