I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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