He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
