I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
