I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
