You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize