She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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