I want to make a zoo with you.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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