I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
