then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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