just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize