K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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