In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
