woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's never too late to be topless.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
