Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
