a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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