hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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