I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
