i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
