The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it glows. i had to have it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
