worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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