im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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