We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
