She announced her abortion via fbk
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
