Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
What a dumb baby whore.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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