I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
