so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
