so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
