I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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